Representative Michele Bachmann
Representative Michele Bachmann

Women of America, get out your pitchforks. Representative Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.), the former presidential candidate, told CNN yesterday that President Obama has “declared an economic war on women.” Ms. Bachmann accused the President of raising prices for everyday necessities, and gave an especially compelling account of the raised price of propane. It appears that following Obama’s irresponsible economic policies, American women from sea to shining sea are unable to satiate their endless thirst for propane.

Of course, Ms. Bachmann failed to explain why raising the price of propane constitutes as an attack on women in particular, but that’s just a minor detail in an otherwise unimpeachable argument. When asked whether she believes in raising the minimum wage, Bachmann thought it best to discuss Australian workers’ salaries. When asked about her thoughts on Obama care, Bachmann pointed to a nearby cloud and remarked that it looked just like a Chris Christie riding a broomstick. Hmm…

Things got more serious when Senator Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) asked Bachmann whether she supports a chained Consumer Price Index. Bachmann proceeded to tell the Senator to “calm down” twice before accusing the Democratic Party of lying about the Republican position. To her immense political credit, however, Michele Bachmann managed to get on the attack against Democrats while simultaneously avoiding every substantive topic under the sun. I don’t know about you, but I think she’s got game.

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4 Comments

  1. Kris Todi,

    This was a raucous parody and you are an apt comedian. Women are the worst! They don’t need to get our their pitchforks because they’re too busy bitching about propane!! Good one!

    <3,
    MB

  2. This article is emblematic of the liberal media’s attack on truth and freedom. The goal is to crush any opposition or dissent from the party line. The democrat communists and their republican lackeys are going for the throat. Welcome to one party communist rule. ANYONE involved in any way with the federal government are considered to have become comprimised, and are for all intent and purposes, enemies of the US people. The federal government has all but declared war on the states and their citizens. This is what the makings of a fascist/communist takeover looks like.

  3. In response to the comment made by “MB”, please understand that your generalizing about women is unfair and unnecessary. The author is targeting Bachmann, not 50% of the population.

  4. Good job Kris. This is definitely some of your best work. It was well written and displayed an honest point about female society in a very humorous way. Keep up the excellent work and I can’t wait to read your next work

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